To My Daughter

To my daughter,

I hope you never doubt
how much I love you.
Even when my world is heavy,
even when I’m tired,
even when I’m sick,
I show up.
Nothing feels better
than seeing your face light up
just because I’m there.

You won’t remember every toy,
every pair of shoes,
every snack we split,
but you will remember
every dance in the kitchen,
the creek hikes we do,
the parks we swing at,
the time we made pancakes
and everything stuck to the pan,
but we ate them anyway
because you were proud of them.

Sometimes you ask me,
“Dad, why are you taking pictures?”
I tell you
it’s to capture the moments.
Someday you’ll ask what you were like,
and I’ll have the receipts
that you were an amazing daughter,
that I tried to have
as many bonding moments as possible,
and to show you
I was always there.

Being your dad
is the hardest thing.
Seeing you hurting,
seeing you sick,
and knowing I couldn’t fix it.
I’ve never loved this much.
It’s every lesson I never got
to make sure you feel loved,
to make sure you feel safe,
so you never have to see
any darkness in your life.

I don’t always get it right,
but I try my best.
I’m always learning,
and when I look at you
I know it’s worth it
every scar I carry.

If you ever wonder
what mattered in your childhood,
just remember
you were safe,
you were loved,
and I never stopped
choosing you or fighting for you.