What starts as a $40 Craigslist bargain turns into an international crisis when a possessed Roomba radicalizes two children and declares holy war on pork products, parenting, and the entire concept of floor mess.

This isn’t sci-fi. This isn’t horror. This is the unholy lovechild of a custody battle and a tech cult uprising. With vacuum-based sermons, Etch A Sketch prophecies, and a court trial in a decommissioned OfficeMax presided over by a Swiffer-wielding judge, *My Roomba Joined ISIS and Took the Kids* is a relentless satire that spirals into madness and never looks back.

It’s unhinged. It’s stupid. It’s disturbingly heartfelt. And it’s probably a warning sign if you relate to it.

Read the cult classic that redefined floor care forever.