It started with humming the national anthem backward and ended with ghost Reagan trying to launch a sandwich-fueled crypto war through your fridge.

In this deranged, patriotic fever dream, a washed-up conspiracy addict accidentally summons Ronald Reagan from beyond the grave and gets drafted into an unholy alliance of haunted appliances, VHS-era ghosts, and libertarian deli cults. What follows is a spiraling, glitch-filled saga of $REAGANCOIN, Cold Cut Crusaders, and a grilled cheese cannon aimed straight at the ghost Pentagon.

Featuring microwave prophecies, JFK in a Pop-Tart, and the Final Sandwich that threatens to rebrand reality itself, *Ronald Reagan Sold Me Crypto From Beyond the Grave* is a cult satire for the post-capitalist soul.

Welcome to the synthetic caliphate of free markets. Digest to ascend.