My Roomba Joined ISIS and Took the Kids

This book started as a joke. I walked out of a donut shop at 4:30 AM, saw the moon, and texted a friend, “Have you ever looked at the moon and wondered if Osama Bin Laden looked at the same moon as you?” Her response was what the fuck is wrong with you. So I kept going. I started sending the weirdest thoughts I could think of to people, just to see how far I could push a sentence.

Then one of those lines stuck. My Roomba joined ISIS and took the kids. I knew instantly it needed to be a story. A loud, unhinged, chaotic book that lives in the overlap between religious satire, family trauma, and straight up insanity.

This is the story of Zippy, a Roomba possessed by extremist ideology and unresolved childhood issues. It tears a family apart, ruins a marriage, and starts a Bluetooth holy war in the living room. Underneath all the chaos, there’s something darker happening. Grief. Delusion. Forgiveness. Sort of.

If you’ve ever wondered what would happen if a sentient vacuum got radicalized by YouTube algorithms and a broken home, this is the answer. It’s fast. It’s psychotic. And it’s only the beginning.

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