Coming August 4, 2025
Ronald Reagan Sold Me Crypto is what happens when conspiracy culture gets high on Monster Energy, mixes Reaganomics with sandwich theology, and livestreams a ghost war in 4K from a toaster.
Inside:
- A cursed crypto coin backed by haunted Raytheon stock
- Ghost JFK recruiting resistance fighters via ham melts
- A sentient fridge named Fridgewell running market ops
- Reagan sermons delivered through porn site ads and microwave burritos
- The Ghost Senate, where haunted vending machines vote on spectral legislation
- And the grilled cheese cannon that might be America’s last hope
But underneath the glitching patriotism and deli-based prophecy, this book is about loneliness.
It’s about desperation for purpose in a country that hands you static instead of meaning.
It’s about the terrifying ease of falling in love with a lie — if it comes wrapped in freedom fries and Jesus talk.
This isn’t the America you were promised.
It’s the one you keep waking up inside.
Drops August 4, 2025.
Read it. Ascend. Or be devoured by the Ghost Market.
Your toaster has already chosen a side.
ALL BOOKS:
He Waits In The Plaster | My Roomba Joined ISIS and Took the Kids | Ronald Reagan Sold Me Crypto From Beyond the Grave | None Of It Mattered